What to Do When Your Doctor Says, “Get Your Affairs in Order”
Hearing a doctor suggest that you “get your affairs in order” can be overwhelming. Whether the prognosis is serious, uncertain, or simply a wake-up call, those words often trigger fear, sadness, urgency, and confusion—all at once. While emotionally difficult, this moment can also be empowering. Taking thoughtful steps now can bring clarity, protect your loved ones, and give you a sense of control during an uncertain time. Here’s what to focus on—one step at a time.
First: Pause and Breathe
Before diving into paperwork, give yourself permission to pause. This is heavy information to process, and it’s okay to take a moment to absorb it.
You don’t have to do everything at once. Getting your affairs in order is a process, not a single task.
1. Prioritize Medical Decision-Making Documents
If there’s one area to address first, it’s healthcare planning.
Make sure you have:
A Health Care Proxy / Medical Power of Attorney to name someone who can make medical decisions if you cannot
An Advance Directive or Living Will outlining your wishes for treatment, life support, and end-of-life care
A HIPAA Authorization so doctors can speak with your chosen loved ones
These documents ensure your voice is heard—even if you can’t speak for yourself.
2. Put Financial Authority in Place
Serious illness can make managing finances difficult or impossible. Without proper documents, loved ones may need to go to court just to help.
Consider:
A Durable Power of Attorney for finances
Clear instructions for bill-paying, accounts, and ongoing obligations
This helps avoid court involvement and reduces stress for your family.
3. Review or Create Your Estate Plan
This includes:
A Will or Revocable Living Trust
Updated beneficiary designations on retirement accounts and insurance
Clear instructions for personal property and heirlooms
If you already have documents, review them. Life circumstances, relationships, and priorities often change—especially in moments like this.
4. Organize Important Information
Gather key documents and information in one place:
Legal documents
Insurance policies
Account lists
Contact information for advisors
Passwords or access instructions (stored securely)
Let a trusted person know where this information is kept.
5. Think About Care Preferences Beyond Medicine
Getting your affairs in order isn’t just legal—it’s personal.
You may want to reflect on:
Where you want to receive care
Who you want around you
Spiritual or cultural wishes
Comfort measures that matter to you
These conversations can be as important as the documents themselves.
6. Communicate With Loved Ones (When You’re Ready)
Clear communication can prevent confusion, guilt, and conflict later.
You don’t need to share every detail—but letting loved ones know:
Who is in charge
Where documents are
What matters most to you
can be a tremendous gift.
7. Consider Legacy and Meaning
Many people in this moment feel a desire to leave something beyond legal instructions.
You might consider:
Writing letters to loved ones
Creating an ethical will or legacy message
Recording stories, memories, or values
These acts can be deeply healing—for you and for those you love.
8. Get Professional Support
An estate planning or elder law attorney can:
Help prioritize what needs to be done
Draft documents efficiently
Reduce uncertainty and stress
Coordinate planning with your medical reality
You don’t have to navigate this alone.
Final Thoughts
When a doctor tells you to get your affairs in order, it’s not just about preparing for the worst—it’s about protecting what matters most right now.
Taking these steps can bring peace, clarity, and a sense of dignity during a difficult chapter. And most importantly, it helps ensure your loved ones are supported—not burdened—when they need it most.